Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
