He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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