I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize