I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
