I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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