everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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