i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
