Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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