Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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