I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize