Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
