My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
