I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize