Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Randomize
