Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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