I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I've blown a few things in my day
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
