I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
