we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
