...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
