ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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