You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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