I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
