Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
