So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
