FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
