Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
