my mouth tastes like poor choices
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
