i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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