Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
