so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
