His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
