pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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