I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
