why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
