Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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