First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
