just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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