just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
