FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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