it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize