State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize