Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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