more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
50% drunk capacity currently
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
