38 yer olds are good kisserssss
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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