from now on my penis is your penis
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Everything about him screamed your future.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
