you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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