i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
