I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize