i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
