I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
