i was rollin on her like bob the builder
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
