My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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