I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
