hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
