So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That's intense
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
