i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just threw up on my dentist
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
