Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
