Your face is a jimmy john
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
