If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
and you fell through a lawn chair
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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