Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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