so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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