But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think your dad took our porno
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
