We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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