It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
