Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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