Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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