So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Jerry, you need to find god
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
