Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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