please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
