i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize