would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
