i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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