I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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