Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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