I'm really into asian looking animals
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
